To Love Without Possessiveness And Not To Suffer – 5 Steps

To love without possessiveness does not mean to love less or create weak bonds with a loved one. It seems that possessiveness is sometimes confused with the positive term because it makes us think of attachment, closeness and intimacy …

In the case of a mother-child relationship, for example, the attachment that is created on the basis of strong, unconditional love guarantees the child’s growth and proper development. However, when we are talking about a romantic relationship between two adults, possessiveness brings to mind dependence, which in turn can lead to loss of dignity.

It completely crushes our self-esteem. When we entrust our partner with our whole heart, body and soul, we put ourselves in his hands as it were. This leads to depersonalization. It is not healthy, you should not justify it in any way or look for any logic in it.

It’s simple – if we want to love healthily, we must learn to love without possessiveness . Otherwise, there will be frustration, blackmail, emotional emptiness and the inevitable penetrating pain. In today’s article, we will offer you a reflection on the basic steps that will help you create satisfying, lasting and happy relationships.

1. To love without possessiveness – free yourself from addiction

Possession in a relationship between two people does not happen overnight. It is based on a whole series of specific psychological and emotional processes that are very complex.

• For example, there are people who start to confuse controlling someone with care, or jealousy with passion.
• Something that we must always remember is the fact that whoever truly loves invests his time, commitment and efforts in the happiness of another human being.

• Love doesn’t hurt. Love should be associated with joy, happiness, reciprocity, harmony and personal development.
• Emotionally addicted people perceive love just as drug addicts perceive drugs. No side effects count, no matter what the pain is, it doesn’t matter how slow you feel …
• We should never allow ourselves to go that far. You have to understand that addiction in any form – be it an addiction to a feeling, an object or another person – depersonalizes us. As a result, we stop being ourselves and turn into someone else’s puppet, pulled with invisible strings.

2. Lack of possessiveness is not a lack of love, it is rather mature love

Anna is 28 years old and has been dating Rafał for three years. Her life has changed a lot during this time. She stopped seeing her friends and neglected her projects at work.

• However, the woman does not care. She explains to herself that her only goal is to make Rafał happy. Although she sometimes misses spending time with friends and the thrill that accompanied her when she worked as a journalist.
• As time goes on, Anna begins to doubt she is actually doing the right thing. She feels very clearly that she loves her partner, but feels that she is in a vicious circle that grows tighter and tighter each time. She is running out of air …
• What our heroine should do is not necessarily leave Rafał. Rather, it is about breaking that toxic bond based on emotional addiction and learning to love maturely. To love without possessiveness.

• Loving someone does not mean putting yourself and your needs aside. We cannot lose what makes us special. If you give everything to the person you love, sooner or later frustration will arise.

That is why you have to learn to love without possessiveness and put yourself in the right place. Thanks to this, we will love ourselves and the other person.

3. The boundary of love is determined by dignity

• Our self-esteem is an indispensable and insurmountable limit.

• If a partner diminishes our worth, makes us feel bad, makes us laugh at us, or makes us feel helpless, we are not dealing with love.
• We are also not in a healthy relationship if the other person laughs at our values ​​and does not respect us.

Personal dignity does not provide for reductions. It is the root of our personal development. No one has the right to rob us of it or tear it out of their heart.

4. Beware of childish self-centered love

There are people who see a relationship as a source of “emotional nourishment” that enables them to fill a perceived emotional void, ward off loneliness, and be served like a small, caring child. A child hungry for love and care, but unable to reciprocate.

A healthy and happy relationship is like a beautiful dance in which giving and taking, talking and listening, laughing and laughing, attention to detail, caring and being the recipient are in perfect harmony. Both partners know what it means to love without possessiveness.

Immature people are able to happily put the welfare of others ahead of their own needs. Far from investing all their relationship energy in their endless, ravenous universe of feelings.

5. First, become the person you want to find

Disturbed behavior appears when a person does not try to love without possessiveness. A pattern is repeated very often, in which a person thinks: “I am not able to take care of myself, I mean nothing without him / her.”

If we go to this extreme, we will stand on the brink of the abyss. Sooner or later, we’re going to fall very low and we’re going to get depressed.

That is why this type of thinking should be avoided. It’s time to learn to love without possessiveness and go in a completely different direction.

Instead of looking for the perfect partner, let’s first try to change into the person we would like to meet:

• Into someone who has healthy self-love.
• Into someone who is not afraid of loneliness.

Become a man without emptiness, emotionally strong and full of happiness, joy, motivation and dreams.

These are the elements necessary to create a strong relationship. They will also become a source of support for our partner, thanks to which you will both build your future on the foundation of harmony.

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