Talking About Feelings – Is It Hard For You To Say “I Love “?

It can be very difficult to talk about how we feel about the other person. Unfortunately, not being able to say “I love” often causes problems in a relationship.

Most people expect their partner to express love through words, not just actions. Talking about your feelings  makes them feel good, it reassures them, and makes them feel safe.

Just what do the words mean to us? If our partner shows us at every step that he loves us, why is it not enough for us?

The reason why talking about feelings is so hard

There are several reasons why you may have trouble saying ” I love.”

To find out why, we have to go back to childhood. The stage of development that gives rise to most problems in adulthood.

Here are some reasons why you can’t express your feelings with words:

• You’re not used to expressing love.
• You are afraid of obligations.
• Someone broke your heart.
• You may also suffer from alexithymia.

All but the last point is why you behave the way you are in your current relationship.

If your parents didn’t tell you they loved you, you had no way to learn to express your feelings.

Also, if your previous relationships have been unsuccessful, the word “love” can only be associated with pain, and these negative experiences lead to fear of obligations.

While all these experiences have shaped you in some way, it  is entirely up to you how she will behave in her next relationship. You are now an adult and you are only responsible for your life choices. If you realize this, you will eventually manage to tell your partner that you feel about them.

The only exception is alexithymia. If your inability to talk about feelings is due to a neurological condition, you should seek professional help.

Your partner is very helpful

If you have a hard time talking about feelings because of previous unsuccessful relationships, you need to realize how important your current partner is to you.

Problems with expressing feelings will inexorably lead to arguments in the relationship. Your partner will feel angry and hurt for not hearing “I love “ from you , and all of this can lead to a breakup.

But you are not alone with your problem. Your partner needs to realize that you need his help. It is up to him to do the difficult task of teaching you to express your feelings.

For this to work, you need to remember these three rules:

• Address each other with love. It is worth holding back from anger and reproaching each other over something that is very difficult for one of the parties.
• Find a quiet, secluded place where both of you can feel safe. This setting is best for difficult conversations. Especially those about things as delicate as feelings.
• Be empathetic and patient. Remember that talking about feelings is a big problem for your partner. Try to put yourself in his place.

The good thing about this experience is that while you are teaching your partner to express feelings, you will also learn something new yourself.

You will find out how to deal with your own emotions and how to express them, of course only if you are able to express your anger or rage in the right way …

Heal old wounds

A loving partner is a great help and support. But that’s not all. It is also worth using the services of a specialist. It will show you how to settle accounts with the past.

Healing old wounds is a real challenge. However, if you don’t, you’ll never learn to express your emotions.

You need to ask yourself what it means for you and your partner to express love in words.

You may be showing your feelings with every little gesture, but for the human mind,  words often matter more than actions.

On the other hand, maybe it’s worth thinking about all those relationships where beautiful declarations of affection are made every day, but are not supported by appropriate actions?

Think about what matters more,  words or deeds?