A narcissistic mother may cause us as adults to be unable to take care of ourselves, instead trying to meet the needs of others. We will always put ourselves in second place.

Parents are authority figures for their children. They act as role models and are the first opportunity for the child to connect with society and build relationships.

However, not all parents set a good example for their children. Some of them cause problems for children in their later, adult life. In this article, we’ll look at the consequences a narcissistic mother can have for her baby .

Who is the narcissistic mother?

Before we begin discussing the potential consequences of having a narcissistic mother, it is necessary to define this phenomenon.

The first and most important thing to remember is that narcissists love themselves excessively. As a result, they may require a lot of attention from relatives and it may be difficult for the environment to fully satisfy this need.

While on the one hand, being so demanding can help narcissistic people motivate their children to be successful in life, the emotional cost to the children will be as significant as the potential success.

Let’s look at the ways in which the mother’s narcissism affects the child.

1. Children of narcissistic mothers tend to forget about their own needs and desires

The narcissistic person still needs attention, is arrogant and likes to manipulate others because they think they deserve only the best.

Carrying this situation into the family context and the presence of a narcissistic parent – specifically a mother – means that  children will grow up feeling the need to please her.

When they complete their assigned tasks and achieve their goals, the mother praises and rewards them, so they learn the mechanism of gaining her attention and love. As a result, when such children grow up, they are unaware of the surrounding space and try to meet the needs of others before taking care of their own.

2. Low self-esteem

Another effect of the presence of a narcissistic mother is the mechanism for such children to receive attention and love only when the mother needs something from them. The problem is that a narcissistic mother is extremely demanding, so her expectations are very difficult to meet.

As a result, the  mother, more or less directly, will make her children understand that they are not good enough. In turn, this results in children feeling incompetent, having insufficiently good abilities and skills, overall low self-esteem and always accompanying anxiety.

3. It’s hard for you to love yourself as you are

The children of a narcissistic mother do not feel that they are good enough, so it is  difficult for them to love and accept themselves as they are.

Each of us has something that we don’t like about ourselves and that we would like to change – it’s normal. However, people whose parents were emotionally stable grew up learning to see positive qualities in themselves.

Even if they achieve their goals and achieve the successes they dream about, they will not feel that it is enough.

4. You feel more like a companion than a son or daughter

Due to the enormous amount of attention that a narcissistic mother requires and expects, her children learn to build a life around her: her problems, her needs and her happiness.

As a result: children become emotional support for the mother and are drawn into situations in which they should not be involved.  They take on so much responsibility that they forget that they are children and become a kind of companion and partner who shares their mother’s emotions.

People growing up with narcissistic parents  feel as if they’ve spent their whole lives solving their problems.

While this set-up can have positive effects – children will learn to solve problems effectively and be self-sufficient – serious negative consequences include emotional stress and problems with trusting others.

5. Talk to yourself critically

Growing up with a narcissistic mother means constantly receiving negative messages. In this way, children learn to talk negatively to themselves and themselves, using harmful words.

It’s a mirror effect. They learn to view life as their narcissistic mother did, and  as they listened to negative messages, they also use it in relation to themselves.

6. You learn to hide your true nature

Another consequence of having a narcissistic mother is that children learn to  hide part of their nature to reveal what the mother values ​​and expects. Over time, the reflex to dislodge or hide certain features becomes the norm.

As adults, such children may have trouble identifying themselves, defining their desires, and discovering what they expect from life and others.

7. You are sabotaging yourself

Growing up with a narcissistic mother means that the baby continues to receive the message that it is not good enough. This makes such children expect the worst in any situation.

When they grow up, they will avoid showing affection and emotional attachment to stay safe. For example, they may avoid falling in love for fear of possible rejection. This, of course, leads to a closed circle of increasing anxiety and insecurity.

What can you do if you have a narcissistic mother?

This kind of relationship can cause hard-to-detect psychological damage and affect your whole life.

If your mother is narcissistic, seek help or advice. This will help you deal with the messages you receive from her and achieve life fulfillment.