Conversation With Myself: 11 Toxic Sentences

Talking  to yourself is a way to get to know the inner and outer world. Thanks to it, it is easier to understand yourself and everything that surrounds us. You probably know how important this can be for your emotional and mental balance.

Internal conversation  is a continuous interaction between your thoughts and your actions. As Epictetus used to say: “It is not what happened, but how you reacted to it.”

Inner conversation and peace of mind

Our destiny is nothing more than the resultant of our thoughts, feelings and actions related to our values. You can explore all of them by conducting an internal dialogue with yourself, thanks to which it will be easier for you to arrange the reality around you.

Among the feelings that may negatively affect your well-being and quality of life, it is worth bearing in mind such toxic thoughts as: “you need to seek recognition from other people.” If you are curious what other toxic sentences should be avoided in your internal dialogue.

1. “I must be the best in everything”

Life is not only a series of wins and losses. When your thoughts polarize only that you can have either all or nothing, it is not healthy for your mental and emotional balance.

Remember that failure can be the basis of your next success. Major scientific discoveries such as X-rays and penicillin also suffered from many previous failures!

2. “If I fail, I am a failure”

It is worth repeating again: mistakes and failures very often lead to success later. It is not worth thinking about each of your mistakes as the end of the world. Give yourself the right to make mistakes and take the chance to learn from them.

3. “Recognition of others is a measure of my worth”

It’s a very common way of thinking, with all of us being the most afraid of rejection in the world. However, remember that you do not need to seek recognition from everyone. The most important thing is that you accept yourself.

4. “I am not the source of my happiness”

This belief comes from a misconception of love. Love must be a mutual, selfless and differentiated feeling; you don’t love someone for some reason or benefit.

If love is only interdependence, partners in such a relationship only destroy each other.

5. “You criticize me to hurt me”

For most of us, criticism from another person is equivalent to rejection and disrespect for us. This comes from thinking that your worth depends only on what others think and say about you.

As Emerson said, “May I never believe that any criticism directed at me is a sentence against me.”

6. “Nobody will tell me what to do”

Each of us must take responsibility for our actions, but it is not worth limiting ourselves to the advice and opinions of other people. Working with others does not take away our identity, on the contrary – it helps us become better people.

7. “I’m not good enough”

If your conversation with yourself involves thoughts like “I can’t”, “I can’t”, “It’s not even worth trying,” you are making a huge mistake and you are doomed to failure.

The first step to success is believing it is possible. The power of self-fulfilling prophecies is huge, make sure it works in your favor!

8. “Trust no one. Be vigilant “

We all know that people make mistakes and don’t always work for our good. That is why we close ourselves to the world and try at all costs not to protect ourselves from the mistakes of others.

Of course, the principle of limited trust can protect us from many problems, but in excess it can become a dangerous obsession.

9. “I am better than others”

None of us are worth more than the others. Modesty is the basis of dignity and honor, and when we feel superior to others, we become arrogant and repulsive.

Even Socrates, one of the greatest philosophers of all time, said: “The only real wisdom is to know that you know nothing.” This may sound like a contradiction, but it is worth considering for a moment.

10. “I am useless”

There are no useless or unnecessary people. When you think about yourself in this way, your inner conversation only takes away your motivation to act and suppresses your ambitions and plans.

11. “I do not deserve love”

At this point, we must emphasize that you deserve the best. Suffering is an inseparable part of human life, especially when a loved one decides to abandon you. Remember, however, that you cannot succumb to the irrational urge to seek recognition from other people; Your love is primarily in you.

How to talk to yourself?

Any time your conversation with yourself is based on a “must” or “should”, it has a very negative impact on your well-being and emotional balance. Fortunately, this can be avoided by controlling your thoughts as follows:

• For certain we can only take what is proven and real. If something goes wrong one day, it doesn’t mean we’re useless. After all, we do hundreds of other things well every day that prove our worth.
• Only accept what is logical and indisputable. With the excess of contradictions in your life, you become frustrated and lose faith in yourself.
• You have to be flexible and ready to change, even in your own views. Be a tolerant and open-minded person, which will make it easier for you to adapt to new situations.

• There are no absolute values; it is not worth being absolutely certain of any value. Don’t judge categorically and don’t dismiss other possibilities. Avoid words like “nothing” or “all,” all or “nobody”, “always” or “never”.
• Evaluate behaviors, not people. Don’t say “you are stupid” or “you are crazy”; say “Your behavior was stupid / crazy”.
• See the world from the perspective of probability, not blind faith. Better to say to yourself “It will be difficult but I’ll try” than “I can’t do it, I will never make it”.

Check what influences the reality around you and always look for other perspectives, even if you think there is no other solution. Look for alternative answers and points of view, ask questions, confront your expectations with reality.

Talking to yourself can bring you many benefits, but you need to know how to handle it. Control your emotions and don’t let the negative ones overwhelm you. However, if you feel that it is getting out of hand, don’t hesitate to ask for help from a psychologist.

Bibliography:

• Ellis, A. (2001). Overcoming Destructive Beliefs, Feelings, and Behaviors: New Directions for Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. ed. Prometheus Books